Reflections
by Lula
Summary: Dilandau reflects on the one he loves, but can't have. Review, please!


Reflections  
  
A/N: Honestly, I have no idea why I wrote this, so I will try to make sense of that in the morning. This has not been checked over, so if there are any mistakes or spelling errors, sorry.  
  
Disclaimer: Wish I did, but I don't.  
  
  
  
I smiled to the reflection in the silver-framed mirror. I had finally done it. Well, almost done it. Still ever present was her body, but my red eyes and my mind were there. Her soul was somewhere, gently touching mine from behind.  
  
Casting my glance down the mirror, I looked over her body. She was very beautiful. In fact, beautiful couldn't describe her. Gorgeous wasn't even near the mark. I traced her firm but delicate jaw line, her soft nose, her pouty pink lips. I touched her sleek blonde hair, lightly brushing the ends of it with my, no, her fingertips.  
  
But her beauty was only one part of her. I had known her for years, coexisted with her inside her body, and even I, as ruthless and cunning as I had been made to be, was touched by her kindness, her unique gentleness. She could put many ladies to shame by it. It is the only reason I survived so long, instead of finally snapping and losing all of my sanity.  
  
I watched her from the secluded areas of her mind, watching her change from a girl to a woman. It seemed to happen overnight yet in my soul I can remember everything about her and the time that has rushed by in a flurry of events. Every moment of her life within the past few years is stored within my subconscious. Every time she felt joy I felt it also, not so much as she did however. Every time she cried over her sorrows, I cried with her in my soul. Can you imagine it? I, who had never thought of shedding a tear over my own sorrows, would grieve over hers? But then again, she had never deserved any of it. She was too kind a soul to deserve anything close to it. I, on the other hand, probably had deserved it. I can admit that. Yes, I still am filled with bubbling anger over the misfortunes in my life, but when I am with her, my soul near hers, I am... calm. It is something I cannot explain, for I could never find the perfect words to justify just how much she means to me.  
  
Yes, she knows I am there. She knows what I feel. She knows me better than anyone ever has, and I know her better than anyone else. She can hide neither her thoughts from me, nor her emotions. But she does hide her feelings of love and hate. In my entire existence with her, I have never known whom she loves. Yet I cannot hide anything from her. She can see everything, and she looks for it. She knows of my love for her, and I know she is sad because that love cannot be unless some miracle happens in which I find a physical body other than hers. I wish that were so. When she is sad, I want to put my arms around her and hold her close. If only I had arms. If only I was in my old body. To be with her, for only a moment, two bodies, two minds, two souls, one purpose, then... then I would thank every deity that there ever was, every star and every blade of grass every day for the rest of my life. Just to be with her, to have her beside me physically, and not just spiritually, would be a dream come true.  
  
I know that dream has a very slim chance of ever coming true, but I will make it happen whether I have to drive out the rest of my sanity and my soul. For that would happen if I had to be tortured to see her love someone other than me. Yes, I love her, more than anyone could ever know. Few other people know I am still here, except for that excuse of a brother she has and that princess. They refuse to talk about me, but I know they think about me, if only for the reason of my love's safety. They do not know that I love her, do not know that I would never dream of hurting her in any way. No, never. I could never hurt her, my love, my dear Celena.  
  
I snap out of my thoughts as I start to feel the pull of my soul. My control to keep my mind awake is weakening and soon I will be back in that chamber, only feeling her emotions but never being allowed to see her in full. Her soul and her mind would become dominant over the body again soon, and traces of me could only be found by digging deep. Within seconds I would go back into that cell, only comforted by her gentle soul. I take one last longing look at her in the mirror, and then everything fades to blackness. And in that blackness I would have to lay dormant and wait for the right time to appear again in my eternal sorrow. 


End file.
